Dearest Unravelers and Unravelers-to-be –
My GOODNESS. I am just bursting with so much I want to talk to you about today. So, obviously, I’m going to make a list. 🤓 A Table of Contents, as it were:
Brad Pitt’s very vulnerable, public Unraveling around his sobriety
Yours truly in a new show on Netflix
The powerful scene in Hacks that made me weep this week
My friend Shannon Watts and her new book which is Unraveling-tastic
I met Brené Brown this week. (!!!)
Let’s start with Brad. (I’ve lived in LA long enough now — everyone calls movie stars by their first name here. It cracks me up. Someone will say: “Oh Leo was great in that.” And I can’t help myself. I’ll interject: “You mean… LeoNARDO DICAPRIO??? Do you know him? No? Okay, just wanted to clarify.” Now I’m doing it just for fun.) So, let’s talk about Brad and his important share on Armchair Expert podcast this week — click here to listen to this episode. Sure (shall we state the obvious) he’s (still) hot. But you wanna know what I really find sexy these days? Honesty, vulnerability and wisdom in men. And my goodness, Brad really goes there about his struggle in a way I wasn’t entirely expecting. Nearly out of the gate, Dax Shepard (the host of the show) starts talking about how he got to know Brad — “at a men’s group” — which is really code for AA, which they spell out pretty quickly. Brad makes the point, essentially saying “yeah I know it’s Alcoholics Anonymous — but if my talking about my sobriety publicly helps someone, I don’t care if my wrist gets slapped by outing myself.”
So many people Unravel because of booze or drugs. I know that because live with and am in love with one of them (I can share that because Peter is very open about it and his “emotional sobriety” — read here). The way Peter talks about “men’s groups” and their vulnerability and the sharing — it gives me all the feels. Honestly before my current relationship, I didn’t know this level of honesty existed among men. Read Terry Real’s seminal book, and you’ll be reminded that, for years, vulnerability has not been instilled in our boys. (This powerful book changed my life and the trajectory of my marriage, FYI.)
Bravo, Brad. (BTW, I’ve already seen F1 and cannot wait to see it again!)
There’s a new documentary out on Netflix — which, I believe, inadvertently kicked off some of America’s Unraveling. Stay with me. This hour-long doc centers on a story that gripped the nation back in 2013. It’s a story that we at CNN went all in on, meaning wall to wall coverage. It was a gamble at first, but boy did it pay off. Everyone and their mother was glued to their TVs watching this shitshow unfold. (When I say shitshow, I’m being literal. I’ll let the doc fill you on the… uh, details.) Once our ratings skyrocketed going all in on that story… we then used the same playbook for the next big story (missing plane MH370) and then the next big story, a reality TV star suddenly running for President of the United States. We went all in, which in my opinion, fundamentally changed the way we covered news (cable news, specifically)… which, many have argued, led to Donald Trump getting elected in the first place. Check out the documentary here on Netflix, look out for clips of me.
What else have I been watching on TV? I recently inhaled all four seasons of Hacks. If you don’t know the show, the HBO Max series follows the unlikely partnership between Deborah Vance (Jean Smart) — a legendary, aging stand-up comedian fighting to stay relevant in Las Vegas and Ava Daniels (Hannah Einbinder) — a young, canceled comedy writer from LA who’s forced to work with Deborah to save her own career. Together, they clash, challenge, and ultimately up level each other both personally and professionally. Talk about Unraveling x 2. Also I just love any TV show that puts two strong women at the center of the story. (Hallelujah.)
I can’t remember the last time I watched something that made me instantly burst into tears. If you haven’t watched the show — just skip this next part.
**SPOILER ALERT BELOW**
So Jean Smart’s character finally lands her lifetime dream job after so many years of sacrificing… everything. This really resonated for me — and I bet it would for you too if you’ve had a sudden **record scratch** career moment. I am pretty sure I’ve said literally these exact words:
I think what resonated with me so profoundly was the notion that you can work for years and years, land your dream job only to have your dream… change. And hear me when I say this: that’s okay. In fact for many of us looking to up level ourselves, dare I say, it’s necessary. So for any of you in that “dream” job, suddenly making yourself small or feeling like you can’t be your full, true self, you’re not alone. As I type this, I’m actually sitting next to a gal on this airplane, who I won’t name, but who has a giant TV job but has another gig that many would want but she’s this close to walking away. It sounds like a marriage that has soured and just needs to end. Suffice to say, I told her if she’s working with people who are not in the business of making her light burn even brighter, as my new pal Brené would say, then buh-bye. And you know what? I’d say the same to you… because I say it to myself.
Speaking of Brené Brown… y’all, we finally freaking met THIS WEEK.
I’ll tell you allllll about it if you keep scrolling or subscribe!
First things first, THE REASON I met Brené is because of another hero of mine,
<<eh hem>> as of this week, NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLING AUTHOR Shannon Watts. Y’all know her as the Founder of Moms Demand Action, the largest women-led grassroots organization in America which she started after the Sandy Hook tragedy in 2012. She “retired” recently (hardly retired, just from Moms) and has just published her book Fired Up which you could purchase right here. Shannon knows what it’s like to be a woman who lives “on fire,” but she hasn’t always been this way. She opens the book with an incredibly revealing story from her own Unraveling and shares her life story along with the stories of dozens of other “fire starters” — women who created a fire in their lives out of their desires, values, and abilities — including me. Shannon, I’m honored to call you a friend.
I got to interview Shannon Friday in Seattle about her book, but earlier in the week, I jumped a plane to Houston (oh hey Beyoncé, it’s decided, I’ll be seeing you for my birthday next month — haven’t bought the tickets yet but IT IS HAPPENING!) to watch Brené interview Shannon. I’m sure just like you, fellow Unravelers, I’ve devoured her books and teachings, watched her TED Talk a bazillion times, and listened to many episodes of her podcast Unlocking Us at a really hard time in my life.
So when I thought I was walking into Shannon’s green room before her book event and was ALL HYPED UP FOR HER… what I didn’t realize was I was walking into Brené’s space. I saw Shannon who I immediately hugged and then, like slo mo, I looked to my right and there was BB. She is super warm — but my biggest takeaway was her humor. Not to mention, she is a Southern woman unafraid of dropping a curse word (I feel so seen… LOL). Brené then pulled out her phone to get a selfie of us to send to a mutual friend. Shout out to my girl
who drove from Austin to be my most fabulous plus-one for this event who leapt onto the sofa to snag photos of Brené getting selfies of us! Get y’all a hype girl like Kelly. And thank you Brené for really giving permission to a generation of us to own our vulnerability and courage and wholeheartedness.Lastly, I made a friend in the audience who I asked to join me for coffee pretty much IMMEDIATELY after she opened her mouth.
is a luminescent lightmaker and a woman who can rock some silver clogs (see below). We skipped the foothills and dove right into what became my favorite conversation all week. She shared her Unraveling story and how it blew the doors open for her to become an author of multiple books, including the one of hers I’m currently reading about the intersection of joy and activism (also pictured below). And as we sat over coffee, Karen shared with me a list idea that rocked my list-loving world: make a list of all the things you love and then go through each thing and write down what it is that you like doing about that thing. And then she says, patterns will start to emerge, and those patterns are (what Karen didn’t call but I will) more “Unraveling breadcrumbs.” And then we pay attention... and maybe start to act on some of them. Thank you Karen!
Speaking of joy, on this 4th of July week, consider this for fun: throw a party for something seemingly silly (bonus points if you dress up). My bestie
wrote about our Strawberry Tart Party this week. With everything in the world swirling, as Natalie writes: “Let’s awaken to the call of joy.” Amen.xoxo
BB
Share this post