Unraveling, with Brooke Baldwin

Dearest Unravelers and Unravelers-to-be – 

Happy Easter! Apologies this is hitting your inboxes later than normal. I’ve been busy stuffing jelly beans in my face… 🐣🐇💐

Yours truly, West Palm Beach, FL, jelly beans — all of ‘em in my cheeks, 20 months

Thank you for your incredibly meaningful responses to my writing about bridge building and America last week. Gary Ford, your words really touched me about your efforts in your neighborhood (can I get an invite to your Block Party?!). My favorite line from your comment: “I am angry and not willing to cave on the ideas of community and truth. I believe, even when a majority is telling you that something wrong is right, do not compromise yourself; STAND.” Amen, sir and thank you.

Keep the comments coming, y’all. I read every single one.

For this week’s newsletter, I wanted to try something different. So I posted this photo of me to Instagram a few days ago…

Phew, your questions ranged from news of the day to friendships to… sex.

HERE GOES!

Kaylie: “Burnout.” I mean, there are so many flavors of burnout. Thank you for your specificity — burnout by, oh you know, just the entire state of the world. Got it. 😉 I kid, only because I have to turn to humor in times like these. My friend Martha Beck in her book (that I affectionately refer to as my Bible) The Way of Integrity, writes a lot about fear, for example. Instead of resisting fear, she says we should welcome it in and get curious about it. Wait WHAT?! I know. But it works. Martha writes: “Invite fear into your house, offer it tea, and let it know it’s welcome — but it doesn’t get to drive the bus.” I would say the same about burnout. Welcome it in. Make friends with it. What’s fueling your burnout specifically? Then get really quiet and listen for the answer. For me, whenever I feel fatigue over the state of the world, I give myself permission to shut it out for a period of time. I’ll leave my phone, walk away from my laptop, and get in nature. I’m a list girl — I’ll make a list of gratitudes or things that bring me joy. I’ll call my mom. I’ll dance in my living room. After doing all of that, if your burnout still lingers, then that is a breadcrumb. Listen. Perhaps something in your life needs to change. You are not alone.

Scott, I feel you. I wrote about the state of America last week, and I’ll say it again here: For those Americans who invited this chaos, some of my own friends and family included, I ask again: What am I missing? I am listening. Please show me. Show me this isn’t the road to ruin. Scott, your question also made me think of one of my favorite poems by Rumi (“let us not be sure of anything, besides ourselves…” Chills.)

Zero Circle
by: Rumi (Version by Coleman Barks)

Be helpless, dumbfounded,
Unable to say yes or no.
Then a stretcher will come from grace
to gather us up.

We are too dull-eyed to see that beauty.
If we say we can, we're lying.
If we say No, we don't see it,
That No will behead us
And shut tight our window onto spirit.

So let us rather not be sure of anything,
Beside ourselves, and only that, so
Miraculous beings come running to help.
Crazed, lying in a zero circle, mute,
We shall be saying finally,
With tremendous eloquence, Lead us.
When we have totally surrendered to that beauty,
We shall be a mighty kindness.

Kel, GREAT question. My friendships are everything to me as I imagine they are to you. But not all of them survive a major life transition… which reminds me of this question (related) from my pal Christine:

Let me answer both of you here: on girlfriends and friendships — here’s my favorite line: “Season, reason, lifetime.” I wrote an entire book about the collective power of women. I cherish my huddles. And yet, sometimes these friends come into our lives for a finite time period (season), or to serve a specific purpose (reason) or if we’re lucky, a friendship can last a lifetime. The tricky part is we don’t always know which is which — until it becomes glaringly obvious. 

In my experience, major life transitions (for me: divorce — from a job or a marriage) have really shown me who my ride-or-dies are. Not to say I’m not grateful for those other friends from my previous circumstances (a former job, etc). I am. But the true test, when life challenges arise, when the phone stops ringing, when geographic distance becomes too great, I’ll know that relationship has run its course. Trust me — I’ve wept over the endings of friendships. We must honor them and mourn them. But similar to the effort I put in a romantic relationship, if that effort isn’t reciprocated, I cannot carry a relationship for two, party of one. (How many of us have tried?! 🙋🏼‍♀️) In The Gifts of Imperfection, Brené Brown writes about “light-blower-outers.” These are the “friends” who snuff out our inner light when we’re trying to shine. Y’all, those folks have gotta go. And that applies to family too. It’s a hard lesson to learn. But it’s enabled me to surround myself, instead, with women who cheer me the f*ck on and also (kindly) call me out when I’m not in my center.

Greg, I am so glad you asked me this question this week. Two things here — one: the CDC and critics consistently say Kennedy has it all wrong.

And secondly — HAVE YOU LISTENED TO THIS EXTRAORDINARY PODCAST CALLED THE TELEPATHY TAPES? Sorry to be YELLING, but I’m several episodes in… and am BLOWN AWAY. It’s about non-speaking autistic kids who “have long been misunderstood and underestimated. These silent communicators possess gifts that defy conventional understanding, from telepathy to otherworldly perceptions, challenging the limits of what we believe to be real.” Here’s the trailer:

OKAYYYY Albert, you wanna know? I’ll tell you — and the rest of you. But you’ve gotta be a subscriber. If you are, thank you, keep scrolling. If not, click the box below: